I Miss My Baby

I miss my baby

by Ilovelucy

Three years ago I bought a little 3 month old Bichon Frise. Her name was lucy. I bought her to be a companion for my cocker Molly. They got along from the beginning. Lucy went right to Molly’s bed and made herself at home. They cuddled together, played together and were the best of friends. Lucy’s nickname was Sassy Fuzzball. THa is what she was. She would just talk back to me. If she wanted a treat or if she was naughty. So cute.

She followed me everywhere. My little white shadow. She was always under my feet. She even followed me into the bathroom. I have a little pillow in there for her to lie on when I took a shower. She would cuddle with me and give me little kisses. She would sit contently in my lap for hours. She loved me and needed me so much. She would lie beside me and bury her little head into me. She would almost purr. I loved her so.

I was single when I had my doggies. We were all so close. The girls. They were my little soulmates. So many tears were licked off of my face, especially by Lucy.

The last 8 months or so my boyfriend has lived with me. Lucy got so jealous. She bit him 3 times and would run from him. She pooped in his shoe once. Funny, but not. A lot of tension was created because of her, but I loved her that much more. She became sick and was losing weight. She would not play anymore, she would just follow me and sit with me. I became so protective of her. I felt so horrible. Was it because of my boyfriend? was she depressed? Next week we were going to start private training with all of us. I wanted my little baby to be confident and happy. I loved her so and she was my baby.

Last night I was working, I am a nurse in the ER. My boyfriend, Shannon called to say that after the puppies came in the house after doing their business, Lucy had a seizure and quickly became somulent. he took her to our small town podunk emergency vet in town. She code blued and they tried everything. I got there in the nick of time. Time to hold her as we put her down. I was a basket case. Her little body, so limp, her little eyes just staring out into nothing. So void of feeling or life. I held her as she took her last breaths..

The hardest thing I have had to do, even as being a nurse.

I held her for so long. I could just feel her love. I wanted to hug her forever. She felt so good to hold. My poor little baby.

I miss her so. I can’t stop crying. I can’t sleep and when I do I have nightmares of people chasing us and trying to kill my dogs.

What happened?? Did the kids do something to her? Or was it natural? I don’t know but I pray to the Lord it was natural. Who could do that to a little dog. A precious little baby.

I miss her desperately. I want her back. I see her everywhere. I expect to step on her, I wait with the bathroom door open to let her in, I expect to see her little face at the screen door. Her fur was so soft, so white and fuzzy. Like cotton.

I want her back.

Lucy, I love you. I miss you SOOO much. You will ALWAYS be a huge part of me. I am so sorry for what has happened to you. I am so sorry I can’t hold you. I am so sorry you have to be alone. YOu will always be in my heart. My heart is broken now, but I will always love you.

I hope there is a Heaven for animals. They are truly the innocent of the innocent.

Your mommy loves you sooo much,


Ilovelucy is a member of Beyond Indigo.